Coffee & Bong Hits

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this is your invitation to spend 15 minutes of your morning with me as I try to make sense of this crazy world.
let’s have a cup of coffee and apply some critical analysis and context to these local news headlines.
then maybe take some bong hits as we process the esoteric nature of our personal and collective realities and send you out the door with a motivational speech.

March 21st, 2017
-is city council really about to authorize TWO MILLION DOLLARS for target practice ammo?
-this new backyard tiny home project is so irritatingly stupid and I’ll tell you why.
-are people on Hayden Island really any weirder than people in Vancouver?

March 20th, 2017
-today’s episode gets a little bit personal as we shed our winter trappings,
take personal inventory and spring forward.
-they never should have let me make it to spring.
-why my next girlfriend will probably be someone I already know.
– it’s probably gonna cost a billion dollars to get on the escape shuttle off this planet, but even if it only cost $500 half the people I know would still be stuck here.
-be the rock- not the leaf.

March 17th, 2017
I’m wearing green by coincidence.
it was in the dryer.
remember- if you sleep six hours per night there is a 25% chance that you’re dreaming right now.

March 16th, 2017
today our sun worship takes on a Temple of Doom feel
I wore pajama pants outside last night
believe or not, people still watch sports even though it’s the end of the world
and a lesson about bending your knees in anticipation of your next leap ♡
hashtag pics of your bongs and your coffee cups

March 15th, 2017
I don’t care if people steal my ideas as long as they put em to use.
I have plenty more.
PS my real friends never talk shit on the internet but they will come over to your house and make you give them your laptop. lmaoooo

March 14th, 2017
late start – bad hair.
never tell fb you wanna do porn.
remember when you could still hit on people at Plaid?
why am I shopping at Plaid?

March 13th, 2017
I’m officially vape guy now btw.
mad about an hour? meet Pope Gregory.
is it okay to shop at Plaid Pantry yet?…

March 10th, 2017
after all, it is friday right?

March 9th, 2017
great episode today.
we ran extra long but we sprinkled the end with a heavy dose of next level for you.
go find your inner Bugs Bunny. ☆

March 8th, 2017
today I ask
“who is the real mayor of Portland,
is it King Ted?”

March 7th, 2017
if you just want a regular show, turn us off at the 15 minute mark.
if you want to hear me explain why the mayor’s job is more about fostering relationships than it is passing legislation, keep listening.
plus somewhere in the middle I get emotional over a youtube song.

March 6th, 2017
woke up mad that I’m not the mayor,
then ended up reconciling my anger.
like how it started off snowing and then the sun came out.
today I remind myself that the cops are predatory revenue generators and the biggest obstacle to our community being able to save ourselves. things sure would be different right now if Portland was actively resisting instead of the complimentary lip service we’ve been getting from the ivory tower.

March 3rd, 2017
my top half betrays my bottom half as we talk about the mayors new exclusionary policy and the report that Homeland Security has labelled Portland protesters as domestic terrorists. gulp.

todays blue dream brought to you by Alternative Solutions on 136th and Powell.

March 2nd, 2017
today I cuss a lot and explain why sometimes it’s easier to save a weak swimmer from drowning if they are unconscious.

plus how Ted’s new policy is gonna create more problems than its gonna solve.

March 1st, 2017
well they finally came and locked up the Garage Project- but all my stuff is still in there! featuring a cameo from Flash

February 28th, 2017
some days are more bong hits than coffee and I promise not to sing any more Paul McCartney.

February 27th, 2017
let’s talk about Ted winning a Dope Cup award and how any movie you want could win an Oscar if you believe in Tim Tebow.

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